Red Light Green Light

I had previously posted this on my own blog and thought I could share it here too. Kylie was 3 1/2 when we started this form of discipline. I don't know if it would work well with younger kids or even kids other than Kylie. If you try it and it works, please let me know! I would love to hear your experiences with this.

We are always trying to find positive ways to discipline our girls (they are 4 and 2). Miki and I have tried so many different methods with Kylie and we have all been frustrated by them. For Kylie, it takes too long for a reward or she just doesn't get the process or what we are trying to accomplish. For me, I get tired of having to give out candy and gifts for her good behavior or it is difficult to be consistent. For Miki, everything is just too complicated. Simple and to the point is better. We want her to make good choices because it makes her feel good not because she will get a prize. So, Miki and I came up with our own discipline method and we love it!

We call it Red Light, Green Light. I made a paper light that is red on one side and green on the other. It hangs on our fridge. If she makes a bad choice (tantrums, fighting, whining, bad words, etc.) the light is turned to the red side. Then if she does something good (sharing, saying "Please", cleaning up without mommy having to ask over and over and over, etc. ) we turn it back to green. She will usually come up with a plan of action that will get the light to turn green and asks me if it would work, and I will usually agree since she is taking her discipline into her own hands.

When she wants to do something fun (ride her bike, watch tv, play on the computer, have a snack, play with friends, etc.) I ask her to tell me what color the light is on the fridge. If it is red she knows that she can't do the fun things until she can get the light green again. If it is green then I have the option of telling her "yes" to the fun thing.

Also, if she is bordering on getting a red light, I will let her know that her behavior is heading the wrong direction by telling her she has a yellow light (even though there isn't an actual yellow light). This has worked so well! She will tell me that she is going to make sure that she gets a green light all day long. Although, there have been days when the light has been red more often than not. She is able to keep track of her discipline and it is simple and easy for Miki to see what is going on when he gets home from work. I can stay consistent with it and we can see that she understands her choices and the consequences.